Luckily I realized this was silliness and checked out Whalesbone. Small and cozy in design, with windows opening onto Bank Street, a big wooden bar, dim lights and lots of exposed brick, it made my two seafood-loving friends and I feel like we were in Boston or Manhattan. The food and service proved equally attractive. And not a creep to be seen.
If you're dead-set against oysters, there's plenty of other seafood (P.E.I. mussels, lobster, and the most interesting sounding sperm whale salad) as well as a few land specialities. Our lovely server put me at ease as she told us about the day's five varieties, and I completely lost my fear after the owner (a Matt Damon look-alike) answered my question about eating oysters in months without an "R." (It is definitely OK-catches from the coolest waters that aren't spawning are the only ones served in summer, and the rule mostly arose from the poor refrigeration in days gone by.)
Brown bread and butter and a selection of sauces (fresh horseradish, traditional Tabasco and mignonette sauces as well
The taste of an oyster is very subjective and thus hard to describe, with liquor, flesh, and aftertaste all distinct from one another. All oysters taste minerally to me (they're full of zinc, after all) but the two Atlantic (New Brunswick) varieties were firmer in texture with a brinier liquor than their (Pacific) B.C. counterparts, which I preferred. They tend to a plumper and creamier meat with flavours of melon, cucumber, and finishes ranging from cold and clean to slightly sweet and smoky. And the scariest looking oyster (the huge B.C. Sinku) on our platter was also by far the tastiest.
Oysters supped, we started on a platter of homemade kettle chips and asparagus guacamole-very nice after a squirt of lemon. A sweet potato pancake was slightly over cooked, but made a nice palette nonetheless to sample all the sauces I didn't want to put on my oysters. Some steamed cherrystone clams, big and meaty, were in a superb broth of butter, chorizo, and sherry. The delicious smell of this alone bowled us over.
We finished off by sharing that day's dessert selections: a fresh fruit bowl (refreshing) and a slice of strawberry cheesecake (insanely creamy) that was perhaps the best I've ever tasted.
Whalesbone has absolutely everything going for it. I've a feeling it'll be packed most nights this summer, so make a reservation.
THE WHALESBONE OYSTER HOUSE
430 BANK STREET, 231-8569
OYSTERS: PRICES VARY (MOST ABOUT $2 EACH)
STARTERS, SALADS, MAINS: $7 TO $23
LOBSTER: MARKET PRICE
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