But I also think of a preferred sexual position which invites cupping or bucking so tender your lover's hands are free to wander like spiders over soft flesh while you're poised to push into your man's hard thrusts.

In another sense, "doggy style" calls up the derogatory image of a porno actress on all fours with ass propped up toward ceiling mirrors, orifices stretched so wide from ritual poolside gang bangs that her privates could double as a state-of-the-art golf ball dispenser at the driving range.

Pardon the vulgarity but there's no delicate way of stating the obvious. The image is plastered across a zillion porn DVD covers. Which is why I'm really digging the new Daniel Edwards statue of a naked and pregnant Britney Spears crouched seductively on a bearskin rug, ass angled up to the heavens with her infant boy's head popping out.

Finally, a contemporary and digestible image of womanhood we can appreciate.

Edwards' life-size statue, called Monument to Pro-Life: The Birth of Sean Preston, features Britney's lactiferous breasts and protruding navel with a posterior view that depicts widened hips for the birthing. The sculpture, which pays homage to the pop icon, is showing to April 23 at Capla Kesting Fine Art gallery in the hip New York district of Williamsburg. Road trip: no sleep till Brooklyn.

It's getting people talking. CBC News articles point to the abortion issues it raises, while Maclean's magazine suggested it's a "publicity masterpiece." ITV News online warns us Tom Cruise may be next, and the College Times writer Art Martori half-jokingly complains that Monument is taking away masturbatory fantasies from half the men in the world because her "most desirable aspect is blocked by the antithesis of casual sex."

Martori compares Britney's back view to an open sore which effeminates men. (Guys like Martori should buy Tim Ward's book, Savage Breast, about men's fear of women and the feminine principle. See Ward at the Writers Fest on Wednesday April 19 @ 7 p.m.)

And while Monument has pissed off pro-lifers and pro-choicers alike, at least they're agreeing for once. Both groups hate it: The former are against sultry Britney as their poster woman; the latter denounce this loud celebration of pregnancy. But it's a refreshing change from the bloody placards of anti-abortion messaging. And the statue's seductiveness reclaims woman's sexuality and agency. Not a bad deal at all for both sides, really.

But an April 7 article at Maclean's online called "Read and learn, philistines" by Scott Feschuk dissects Monument to Life, saying it's perhaps no more than "a monument to getting me on Entertainment Tonight, baby." About Britney's serene countenance, he writes: "A woman obviously didn't make this statue or else the facial features would reflect the goddamn torture that is childbirth, you clueless male bastard." Regardless of that inaccuracy, its beauty and artistic merit are undeniable.

But I like how NC Times questions the rules "where private moments can be simulated in sculpture or on a computer." In grade 2 art class, we moulded our handprint in plaster. But what was cute then changes now if your new crush fails to appreciate your clay mould penis collection circa 1995-2001.

Another ugly angle, which The Globe and Mail revealed, is whether the hunk of clay is even a serious artwork. Edwards is already known for his oddball celebrity works (Ted Williams Memorial Display With Death Mask From the Ben Affleck 2004 World Series Collection).

There is also the "who gives a shit" contingent that refuses to see the social or political value of a male head popping out of the birth canal of some celebrity. Personally, I think there's value in an international sex symbol delivering a helpless male into the world.

Shotgun is all for the respectful sexualizing of motherhood. It's necessary in a culture where the virgin/whore tension still exists. Like, I can't handle another jackass who digs me dirty in bed but shuts me up in public. Naked and pregnant Britney embodies both extremes all at the same time and brings new meaning to the expression "sexy mother fucker."

In the same way the documentary Super Size Me cultured a nation to dry heave at the sight or smell of Big Macs, so too can Edwards' art rebrand a cultural icon and perhaps encourage former dissenters to share in the similarity of their baby-making abilities, rather than focusing on differences like the sexual incompetence that superstars often make us feel.

To date, we don't know what Britney thinks about the sculpture. But since Edwards is reported to have looked to Canada's tradition of the bearskin rug baby picture, let's hope the bare-skinned Britney doesn't pull a celebrity and freak out against our bear hunt now...

BELLA YOU GO SEE a high-octane combo of vampires and rockers from the crypt at Café Dekcuf, Saturday April 15, and you'll be an extra in the new Brett Kelly film Kingdom of the Vampire. Kelly will be filming while the Bella Bombs, A Plot Against Me, and Sick, Sick, Sicks kick the shit out of your year drums. Doors at 8 p.m., $7.

shotgun@ottawaxpress.ca

 
 

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"Outrageous"? Wasn't Exactly "Her Perogative"!     This reminds me a bit of some years back when Demi Moore (hands up, those of you who remember her) was pregnant & her naked, pregnant profile was on the cover of Vanity Fair. There was a bit of a public debate on that one -- should she have done it, should she have not? But one thing was certain, Demi had control over the situation & over what was presented. Britney's case is different. Sylvie you said that to date we don't know what Britney thinks, so clearly she didn't model for it, & the sculpture was done without her prior consent. Does this border on invasion of privacy? The artist may even be doing some self-promotion by riding on Britney's current popularity (notoriety?) in the media. This is something that the paparazzi photographers do, & they certainly came under fire following the 1997 death of Diana, Princess of Wales. On another angle, we could say the sculpture was prophetic. Sean is coming out head first, so if he pops out then he will land on his head. And what is the latest hot water situation that Britney finds herself in with child welfare authorities? Something to do with her baby fracturing his skull after falling from his high chair?
Brad Thomas	{6 votes}	April 17th, 2006
Shotgun!     Well, Daniel Edwards did the impossible...he made the image of a woman on her hands and knees posing 'doggy style' feel dirty. And no, not in that good visceral way we men all like. ~ Britney Spears? Britney Spears?! Of all the celebs he could have inspired himself from, of all the magnificent women out to choose from he settles on the trailer park pop princess that's so overexposed that even Madonna looks demure by comparison...and she practically invented the term 'media whore'. I guess that isn't the worse of it really, I mean, he managed to get his name in the news but the thing of it is that the statue isn't even that good. I know a bit about art and I gotta say I've seen way better renditions of the female form that weren't so obvious. I hear all the noise about what this statue is supposed to represent but honestly, it all sounds like bull. Can you actually achieve artistic respectability and success by using a white trash icon no one can stand as your model? Personally, I doubt it.
Pedro Eggers	{4 votes}	April 16th, 2006
"Breach Birth Baby One More Time"...........     I'm confused here Sylvie. The image of Britney Spears on all fours was depicted to show how she gave birth to baby Sean? Where was Kevin Federline? In another room writing lyrics for another hopeful song for his soon to be released CD? Why are pro-lifers upset by this bust of Britney's naked bust? What's with the bearskin rug and why is she clutching it so tightly? Does the statue have a front end and a back end? I mean, if you go see this "artistic presentation", do you actually see Sean's head coming out the other end? I must have fallen behind the times with artistic inventedness. Oh, and let me guess. Baby Sean is shown, pushing out quickly to find himself an agent, with a tattoo on his little arm with the initials "BS loves KF"? I wonder if his first words will be: "I'm just a baby, not yet a toddler"? Yikes. Was she pregnant when she posed and did she know what the project was all about? She's a beautiful woman and her child is absolutely adorable, but with rumours catching like wild fire about Mr Federline's lusty relationships, can Mrs Spears marriage be saved and can their relationship built on "I'm not sure what", survive? She wanted a bad boy and she got one, there's no doubt about that. Planned Parenthood classes unnecessary, I guess for these two lovebirds. Finally, "In the same way the documentary Super Size Me cultured a nation to dry heave at the sight or smell of Big Macs", I wonder if this sculpture may create a nation that dry heaves at the sound of any further Britney Spears songs on their radios.
Steve Landry	{14 votes}	April 14th, 2006
This isn't about abortion     So we have a porn-esque Britney -- not visibly pregnant except her huge belly -- in an improbable pose for giving birth but a typical sex pose, and this has something to do with abortion and not the commodification of women? Look, girls, you've got to be sexy even while giving birth!
J Flegg	{2 votes}	April 18th, 2006
Gimme a break     Okay, first and foremost, gimme a break. The statue is revolting with or without it being Britney. The fact that its Britney, I have to say makes me laugh. I am a mother of two and I love my kids very much, but i would never think that a statue with the face of serenity and a child being delivered to be worth being made. I agree with the column.. who the hell let that man depict what birth's face is like! Art is however suposed to be controversy, so.. why not! Personally i find the statue to be an eyesore, but then again, its not my kinda art!
Victoria Patacairk	{5 votes}	April 15th, 2006
Make it pro-abortion     We all know that if Britney wants to relaunch her career the right move for her is to pose nude and pregnant on all fours on a bear rug but not for art, but rather for PLAYBOY or even better HUSTLER.If the artist realy wanted to make a pro-life statement he should of use a non-celebrity women rather then a wash-out pop singer.Because most people will talk about the star-craving Britney rather then the statement.Now if he realy wanted to work with Spears, he should of made it Pro-choices and have the head of her husband Kevin Federline with her wallet in his mouth sticking out of her rear.Now that a statement because nobody wants a moocher.
Rock Sirois-Therrien	{1 vote}	April 15th, 2006
Pinnochio Never Had It This Good!     The statue should have been of Briget Bardot lying on a polar bear rug,giving birth to a half Bono- half seal pup, while Larry King anxiously awaits with club in hand. The controversial issue would be which fuckin one should we club first, Bardot, Bono, the seal pup or Larry King himself. And our suuurvey said ! they should all be clubbed except for the seal pup unless, of course, it is for a starving Inuk. Britney, Bono, Bardot and all these clowns are just acting up for publicity as usual. Take for instance Sally Struthers ( Gloria on All In The Family), who is an advocate for starving children, but every time you see her ,she keeps getting fatter and fatter,paycheck after endorsed paycheck. People who work in media are evil bastards, who all have hidden agendas, and are leaches who suck on the marrow of the sick and less fortunate in sake of the almighty dollar. I can say the same for Kirstey Allie types" how can I turn me turning into a fat gronk into a pile of cash" -she's not trying to lose weight for herself-she's doing it for cash-pretty fuckin'sad! When i see an average Joe who is trying to do some good for a certain cause, I find this to be more effective and believable than some dyed blond, front page of TIME magazine, ditsy goofball with their pockets full of cash who don't know what it's like to be poor or sick or have to struggle in this life -only to go nowhere. Keep your eye on an up and coming asshole from Napanee, Ontario who just sold herself out to a package of hair dye and puking up all her meals so her skinny little ass can strut up and down the catwalk-Rock and Roll isn't good enough for her! An artist is an artist is an artist- but once you sell yourself out to the masses for the almighty dollar instead of working for the love of your art, you are no longer an artist- you have become a fuckin' puppet and this goes for Daniel Edwards who is on top of the heap.
David Fairhead	{2 votes}	April 14th, 2006
A Celebrity Controversy     Would we even care were it not Britney Spears? This is the question that disgusts me. For Britney Spears to be portrayed in something perhaps enlightening and inspiration is not in the least, a mirror towards her true personality. This is of course the same woman who was driving down the interstate with her baby on her lap. The perfect role model for everyone n'est pas? This artist is clearly using the name of a celebrity to gain him more attention even though it's not necessarily well deserved.
A B	{2 votes}	April 13th, 2006
I just don't get it     I really don't see the need for this type of statue, or even WHY Britney was chosen as prime focus for this one. I don't see the reason she is the central focus of this piece, and I think it's kinda sickening to see her in that postion on a bearskin rug. Oh well, I'd sure like to know what Britney thinks of this.
Meghna Patel	{1 vote}	April 15th, 2006

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